With All My Love, Gloria

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Dearest Archie,

I am sorry that you shall receive these letters only now. In the deepest depths of my heart, I know that you should have received and read these many months – if not even years – earlier. Unfortunately, when the time was more suitable for these letters to have been sent, I was a coward and a fool. I have selfishly sat on them now for many years, and am only today choosing to have it sent to you.

Today is one of the rarest of days; one of those where I can both remember my own name, as well as who you are. You must be heartbroken, my love, on those days when I cannot remember. I myself am unable to remember the days in which I am unable to recall your face, but I am told by a lovely nurse that they are many. All I seem to be able to recall is the fog, and it is an endless one filled with strange shapes and dark shadows. On the days like today, the days in which I can remember almost everything, I fear those other days. I’m not sure exactly what it is that I fear, but I never want them to return.

I am told that you are not to visit today, and that is OK. I understand that you have many other things to do with your time; I hope that you have a truly fantastic day. I’m sure that I shall have a fair day; the nurses that I can remember are all fantastically patient, and they always take their time to listen to my (surely dull) tales of older days. I often tell them about you, Archie; we have created so many fantastic stories in our long lifetime.

Unfortunately, life is not always like the stories, and although ours has been a marvellous one, the ending, of course, is not the happiest. I am not sad to be sat here now, sure that the end is edging closer, and nor do I want you to be sad, dear Archie. This is the course of life, and I have lived a selfishly long one. You could have spent yours with any lady, yet you chose me, and for that I have been forever grateful.

I am, of course, sad that you are to lose me; and in many, many ways already have. I am sad that I spent many hours without a single clue as to who the person I am is, or was, and who those often strange faces are that cloud my threadbare memories. But beyond that sadness, I am blindingly happy that in my life, I was loved by you.

With all my love,

Gloria.

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Constellations

I stand alone and look up towards the stars

A familiar, welcoming reminder that home

Is just the other side of the very same constellation

That I now find myself below;

And I wonder

Does my mother look up

Towards those very same stars

And know I’m just the other side

Gazing, waiting, wondering

If our eyes can meet

Via Venus and the International Space Station…

S.C. Elliott

Well, Isn’t This A Great Start

Well, we’ve reached the end of week two of Stephen with a ph returning to blogging, and I’ve only managed to blog for one of those weeks. Aren’t I just damn fantastic? This isn’t what I actually intended, but I ended up working extra shifts this week at work, and was physically too tired when I got home to do much more than order takeout (I’m supposed to be on a diet…) and have a bath (I REALLY like baths).

Next week should be a return to the norm, all fingers crossed. I’m currently sat on my lovely, comfy sofa with my Romanian Terrier (please note not an actually breed) and a cup of tea, mentally preparing myself for a Sunday alone at work. I work every Sunday alone, and I actually quite like it this way. I’m just not feeling it today.

Before I go to work I’ll peel some potatoes and dish up some veg so that I can get a roast dinner cooking as soon as I’m home. I’m usually really prepared and organised with things, but the last few months at work have been really hectic and I’ve completely lost any sense of my usual routine!

Christmas is coming, and I really need to get started with at least the basics; but I don’t actually have a clue which basics to start with. Should I make my cards and gift tags first, or should I find peoples main presents and gift wrap. I’m pretty fussy on how I put together my Christmas gifts, and every year I tend to follow a theme. This year the theme is verging towards silvers and blues, with snowmen and snowflakes, but I’m not 100% set on that yet!

This has to be one of the most mundane posts. I’m pretty sure people don’t want to read about this sort of thing! I’ve got a few days off after today so we’ll pick up at a more interesting point tomorrow!

Have a great Sunday!

Stephen.

Weeping Willows

November; and autumn slowly,
Soggily,
Transitions to winter
Grey clouds dilute
The once blue skies
And mulch, and mud, engulf
The warm autumnal hues
October displayed,
Vibrantly
Beneath the auburn canopies
Bare branches reach
Desperately,
Skeletal hands; corpses
Great oaks, now dormant
Maples, and weeping willows
All rendered widows
‘Till spring returns
Its dew drop
Kisses.

S.C. Elliott

Second Chance

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Two weeks today, the world will be blessed with possibly the only miracle of 2016; Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life. In fairness, no matter how you look back at the past year, it hasn’t been great, has it? Brexit and Donald Trump aside; we’ve lost Bowie and Prince; Gene Wilder and Alan Rickman; Victoria Wood and Caroline Aherne; the list goes on and on and on. The bad news mill has been relentless this year.

The Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life, for me at least, is a light at the end of that tunnel. I need it; the world needs it. Sometimes it’s important to be able to get wrapped up and lost in another world, and in times of darkness, Stars Hollow has been my own personal sanctuary of choice.

For me, the warmth and depth of the characters, the vibrancy of the town and general strength and support of community are an escape that welcome with wide, loving open arms. With the Gilmore Girls, you’re not just watching a family; you’re part of one.

That’s something we all need to hold on to during these trying times. Community. Love. Warmth. Support. Family. This isn’t so much a post about the Gilmore Girls (as excited as I am about it), but about the former. Humans have always been divided; and right now is a time for those on the other side of that divide. It’s not forever. It’s not what we necessarily want; but it’s not forever.

Sit tight, put on a movie that you love or watch a TV show that makes you feel good. Listen to music that helps you relax. Put everything else out your mind for a few moments. The problems aren’t going to go away, but they can afford to wait for a moment.

*   *   *

That aside, I really can’t wait for the new episodes and to be able to delve back in to the world of the Gilmore Girls at least one more time. It’s a world that I both embraced and felt embraced by for so long; having the opportunity to step into that familiarity once more just feels so unbelievable to me.

*   *   *

Anyway, sorry for the strangely shaped post today. I’ve not really decided how best to utilise this blog yet, or what my aims will be. I’m certain that I’ll share some of my creative works, and my views, but I’d really like to find some form of structure to my posting method.

Have a great weekend everybody, and I’ll see you on the other side.

Stephen.

MORNING!

Good morning world! Bare with me, as this is  the first time in a very, very long time that I’ve posted anything on a blog (I was eighteen when I finished posting to my first – and most successful – blog). I feel like so much has changed in those seven years, and the blogging process seems to have more options than ever, so I’m sure over time you’ll find this little page both change visibly and read differently to what it does today.

First posts are the worst, and I really didn’t want to fall in to the trap of writing a first post about first posts. Neither did I want to write a post simply introducing myself, because I both find them boring to read myself, and I truly believe that you’ll discover who I am through the journey of this blog if, of course, either of us stick around.

If anyone even discovers this little page.

*insert cheesy line here* I guess, one of the reasons I have started this blog is to provide a beacon of light in these darker times (you’ve got your outdoor glasses on) as well as to provide a creative outlet for myself. Why a creative outlet (no one asks)? I like to consider myself a part time writer, mostly in the poetry fields, but occasionally I dip my toes into the fields of fiction.

I prefer poetry simply because it’s less messy. Fiction has characters and places and objects and just about a million and one other things to hold on to and remember. I have a short attention span and a disastrous memory! Poetry can be more clear cut, and even when it’s not clear cut; abstract.

Over time you’ll definitely see some of my work appear on here. I’ll probably also talk about the work of others I like as well; what I’m reading or watching etc. Maybe, if my life ever becomes a little more interesting, I’ll even talk about what I’m DOING! (Don’t be silly, Stephen).

Yes; my name Stephen. Stephen with a ph not a v. Not Steve. Not Ste. Plain old, bog standard, the name my mother chose for me, Stephen. Steve is for lads, van drivers and builders. I am none of the latter. Ste is for… Well, I couldn’t even tell you what Ste is for, I’m just not a fan.

One last thing before I wrap this longer than I intended but shorter than expected, not a first post post, up, is a promise of sorts. I’ll do my absolute best not to bombard you with a million and one pictures of my dog or two cats; Instagram is for that. Twitter is for moaning. I’m sure that soon I’ll post links to both pages, when I’m both more organised and ready.

Anyway, that’s about that for now. I do have an idea of a posting schedule in my head; of what I’ll post, and when, but I’ll be making no commitments just yet.

Have a fantastic day (or evening, depending on where in our big round world you are) and we’ll catch up soon!

Stephen.